When Will I Learn?
Letting go of the past is one of the hardest things to do in my opinion. I think the passage of time can heal mistakes, but what I’m talking about is getting rid of the past in a quick and efficient manner, or as some would put it, be present.
I would commit a mistake, a rather costly one, but definitely not life or death, and I can’t function for a while. It is expected, but why not be present at all times?
The irony is that it has happened a lot to me lately (I’m on an error streak, lol!) and I always have this mini-breakdown afterwards.
I think if one believes that everything happens for the best, he can get over the past quickly, that’s a useful belief to have. 😉
magnifying glass 
It`s hard but I try to increase my focusing capabilities to get rid of that.
I try to ask simple 2 questions: 1. what`s the worst that happened as a consequence of my “past” action? 2. can I do something to remedy it in a meaningful way?
And then (the hardest part) ,, act accordingly.
Of course I use some other techniques but this helps a lot, also; it goes with other thinking/practices such as proper prioritizing (in which one needs -in my view- other perspectives from others to know if you are REALLY doing important things or not)
Hope to hear your views on this Ehab 🙂
H.
Haitham,
I think we could learn to trigger a response like the one you mentioned as soon as we commit a mistake. As soon as you’ve made a mistake:
1- What’s the worst consequence of my mistake? Will it matter in 10 years? (Helps put it in a bigger context)
2- Can I do anything to correct the mistake? (If so, act accordingly)
3- If you can’t do anything, just let the emotions go, immediately.
4- Now that the emotion is gone, check if you can learn anything from this experience.
What do you think?
You know, there are still some things I’m trying to get over and they happened 10 years ago…I think it depends on what your outlook is. I know that I have to keep going and I can’t just quit…So, maybe take time to deal with them but also keep going because the world doesn’t just stop when we want it to.
I get on these streaks, too! We could form a club! Error Streak club! You can be the vice president and I will be the president 😉 😛
Ehab: neatly put 🙂
# 3 -to me- is the hardest, one must be honest with him/her-self in order to avoid illusion (other wise, it will come to the surface again, harshly too!)
The thing to remember also is that to ask for guidance/feedback from sm1 close, which mandates openness , which is hard sometimes! 😦
Samar,
Well, I think I might fall into the trap of focusing on my mistakes rather than the good things I do. Sometimes I think the expectations I have of myself just set me up for sadness. You know, if I do good it’s expected and easily forgotten, but if I do bad it’s a catastrophe, so I don’t know. You think you might have a similar problem?
Haitham,
The scheme might not be easy to integrate into our thinking, but at least we can try to create a decent scheme, so that at least we KNOW what we should do…
It`s a start! 🙂
Ehab,
I def. do have a similar problem. I can’t see my accomplishments at all…but I sure can see my faults. I think it’s important to learn from your mistakes but also accept that you can do good.
I have high expectations as well, sometimes bordering on impossible and it isn’t a bad thing but it lends to failure.
I guess there is ultimately a fine line (rather, a decently sized area) between learning from our mistakes and being arrogantly overconfident. (I hope that made sense)
Yeah, it does. That line also isn’t stationary, it tends to move and blur and sometimes is just hard to see!